Monday, June 13, 2011

The Quasi-Geek: A Sample Weekend

What does a weekend for a slightly geeky gal look like? Take this (pretty typical) weekend, for example. It went a lil sumpin like this:


7:00 PM Get home from work. Pack for the weekend. Contemplate making a really nice dinner. Microwave something instead.

7:15 Did I say "pack for the weekend" before? I meant "take out the suitcase." Stare at suitcase, decide I'm not yet mentally prepared for packing. Play games on my Wii for an hour.

8:15 Remember my dinner is still sitting in the microwave. Contemplate if I can eat and play simultaneously. Decide against it. Eat while watching CNN.

9:30 Look at suitcase again. Realize that, for once, making callbacks to people seems more appealing than something. Spend next three and a half hours on the phone. Wonder why people still need to talk on the phone. Wonder what's wrong with just texting everything. Think about this while texting people while talking to other people on the phone.

1:00 AM Look at my suitcase, sigh, and pack it up. It takes me all of six minutes.

1:06 Take a thirty-minute shower. Put in a hair treatment and apply a face mask. Paint my nails. Play DJ Hero; mess up my nails.

2:45 Wash out hair treatment and straighten my hair. Read a depressing memoir from one of my favorite authors. Write happy thoughts in my journal.

4:40 Realize it's somehow past 4 AM. Sleep.


7:45 AM Wake up. Think about how awesome I am for waking up early on a weekend after going to bed late. Roll over. Go back to sleep.

8:30 Wake up again. Curse myself. Jump in the shower. Spend two minutes picking out which new body wash to open. Lather up and realize it smells exactly like my others.

9:15 Put on wide-leg jeans. They look like jeans but feel like sweats. SUCKAS.

11:30 Run errands for hours, including going to the post office, UPS, and Fed-Ex. Wonder why they can't all be in the same building. Ignore the immediate obvious reasons.

3:00 PM Save UPS for last because it's near the comic book shop. Forget all about time and space.  Shout over to Boyfriend in the next aisle about how Warren Ellis' Crooked Little Vein and Black Summer seem similar because they're both about a guy who deals with the U.S. government who's trying to eff the United States. Except I don't say "eff." Boyfriend shushes me and tells me there are children in the shop. I blush and apologize to the kid's father. He's laughing. The kid's laughing. The owner is laughing. I'm dying.

4:00 Buy a bunch of books I have no business buying.

4:15 Start reading Ellis' Hellblazer over fro-yo.

5:00 Go back to Boyfriend's place. Watch Spartacus. Cry when Pietro [I mean Pietros. See the comments on this post...] hangs himself. Tell Boyfriend I have something in my eye. Believe Boyfriend when  he says that he has something in his eye so both of our lies can live on.

8:45 Head to The Green Turtle to watch the fights. Witness Shane Carwin's face become remnants of bone structure amidst bloody pulp.

1:30 AM Sleep.


10:00 AM Go out to buy the paper and the only decent bagels in Maryland. 

11:00 Enjoy a bagel with olive cream cheese and raw onion and a big glass of milk. Eat it while watching Nigella Lawson, pretending that I'm eating something much more gourmet and that I totally earned it by slaving in the kitchen all morning.

1:00 PM Go dress shopping with Big Sis. Pat myself on the back for not buying any dresses.

1:45 Find ThinkGeek catalog in the backseat of the car. Divide entire catalog into "purchase immediately," "purchase next," and "purchase after next raise."

2:00 Go to Borders. Spend more money on books than I would have on a dress.  Find books 3, 4, and 5 of a manga series of which I only have books 1, 2, 6, 7, and 8 because I bought them when another Borders was going out of business and didn't expect to like them. Suppress a happy dance for obtaining the rare find for which I'd been looking for months. Put down alll of the Game of Thrones books and a detective novel to balance out the purchase.  Suppress sad face.

3:30 Get Baja Fresh with Big Sis and Boyfriend. Decide on just a Diet Coke since I dislike Mexican food. Instead, discover that I like taquitos.

4:30 Watch X-Men. Gasp for two hours. Hope it never ends. Calculate if there's time to see it again the moment that it's over. (There isn't.)

7:00 Talk about X-Men with Boyfriend. Ask a zillion questions. Think of a zillion more questions. Be amazed that Boyfriend loves the questions. Ask the next zillion questions.

9:00 Go home. Tell myself I'll go to bed early since I have work tomorrow.

1:00 AM Finally go to bed. Have no idea what I've done for the last four hours.